Why Relationships Fizzle

Many times when we are in relationship with our love ones, we truly don't know what we have until we don't have it anymore. I can't begin to tell you how many times Shirley and I have talked to people about what could have been, but for some reason it never happened in their love relationship. They ask themselves, “What Happened?” People need to be warned that they need to nurture and protect that which is most valuable in their lives. The issue many find themselves in, is that their relationships with their family, is not that which is most valuable to them.


In the national football league, there is an option the team can use, which is to label a player as a franchise player and give him a large salary just to make sure he doesn’t go to another team. Teams do this to make sure they don’t lose their most valuable players to someone else. What are you doing to hang on to the most valuable players in your life? The reason relationships fizzle is because the players are not being treated as valuable. I know for myself personally, that I respond with much more excitement to people that I know see me as valuable in their lives. I love speaking to a fresh crowd who are excited to hear the things I speak on. It seems that they value every word I say and want me to share whatever it is that I have for them. I become instantly their franchise player and it seems that there isn’t anything they won’t do to help me and nothing I won’t do for them. To maintain relationships like this it takes an effort, but there is nothing more rewarding than to have close and binding relationships.


Our relationships with our spouses and family need to be the most valuable part of our lives. Things of value need to be protected… that’s why our good Lord has given us a place we call home. It is a place where we can be protected, from hostile attacks and relationship intrusions. One sometimes doesn’t know what he or she has until it is gone. We need to take inventory of our lives to see what a priority is and how much value we place on each individual, and then make the provisions to protect them according to the value we placed on them. My relationship with my Lord and Shirley are the two most valuable parts of my life and there is nothing I won’t do to protect that. My family follows after that and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. By stating this, I have mentally placed myself in a position to treat them as special and valuable. As my son-in-law Dave always states, “Family Helps Family”… this statement has stuck with me as well as with others in my family. It gives us the security of knowing that whatever happens that there is family to help out.


My son blew out a tire on the road last week when the temperature was below zero degrees and he wasn’t dressed to take care of it. He gave me a call and I dropped everything that I was doing to help him, because “Family Helps Family”. He later took us out to dinner just to show us his appreciation, which he didn’t have to. It is efforts like this that keep our relationships alive and well.


People lose that fizzle in their relationships when a key destructive element intrudes their home that I like calling, “Selfishness”. Don’t know how it enters the home, by the front door or the back, but I do know what it does to the relationship. It messes up the value order and the person who has contracted it doesn’t treat what should be most valuable in his or her life as valuable. As time goes on they find themselves losing what should be their franchise players to another team and they sit back trying to figure out how this all happened.


What I encourage you to do now is to check your home to make sure that it is safe and secure before it is too late. If that uninvited intruder has entered your home, start by making sure your values are in order and then start treating all you are in relationship with as the most valuable person in your life. By doing this you will see that the fizzle can be restored and your family can live in a safe and secure environment.


Values are in the eye of the beholder. . . let’s place value where value is due!!

Don and Shirley Schaefer

Understanding it is easier to teach principles of good relationships before problems occur; the Schaefers have been designing programs such as Married for Life to help educate couples in the importance of working on their relationships. Their programs teach some of the basic skills that are so vital in building and maintaining healthy relationships and strong families.

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