Why You Do What You Do!
"Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habits allowed steadily gain in strength. At first it may be as a spider's web, easily broken through, but if not resisted, it soon binds us with chains of steel." Tryon Edwards
There is a reason why some people have such a hard time achieving what they want in life. The reason is that there are two types of people in this world and your success will depend greatly as to which group you allow yourself to be placed in. Without knowing, people get themselves into a group that I like to call The Feelers… having a knowledge or some good direction in life will allow you to be in the other group, which I like to call The Doers.
The Feelers will only take action when they feel like it… if they don't feel like doing something they won't. This is a group that will have a hard time following any type of goals and dreams for the only way they can get themselves to follow their goals and dreams is if they feel like it. Therefore it is very difficult to have a Feeler working on a project and getting the project done, for when they don't feel like doing something, they won't.
When I need help in doing something, the Feeler will be the last person of choice unless I want to spend some time trying to motivate them into feeling like doing something. It is also hard to get any sort of sincere commitment out of Feelers for when they say they are committed, it only takes something else to enter their lives for them to feel like they are not committed anymore.
It's only when you can get a Feeler to get excited about what you are doing, that will allow you to count on them… when the excitement dwindles they are gone. The reason for this is that their decision making ability is hard wired to their short term emotional appetite.
My son had a bachelor party for himself a couple of years ago, where they planned to go to the Brewer Game after a morning of paintball. To get a bus lined up they needed to get a certain number of people who would be willing to commit to going to the game. He became so frustrated, because he had a hard time getting many of the people to commit… for they wanted to wait, in case something else came up that was more exciting. What I found here was an excellent example of how the Feeler operates and I also had an opportunity to explain to my son the differences in people. My son is very committed and falls into the category of a Doer… that is why it was hard for him to understand this.
Another area of issue here for a Feeler, is that his or her life is all about shallow thinking. In the ocean you need to go deep to the bottom, to find the treasure… it is the same thing in life. What a feeler will do is only look at the short term in life… they want instant satisfaction and don't think much about any consequences.
A feeler will lack character, conviction and maturity… because of this and their desire of instant gratification, they will be in a position of having the majority of their focus on themselves. Because of this when things do not go their way, look out… they will get angry very quickly and because of this are hard to live with.
Being a Doer or a Feeler is all about the development of habits … for a Feeler it becomes a bad habit that will need to be broken for them to have the beautiful and productive life they want. But this will only happen when a person realizes the group he or she is in and decides to make some changes.
And now to talk about the Doer… this is an individual who is in some ways is just the opposite of the Feeler. He or she was either taught or somehow came to the understanding that you act or do your way into feeling like doing things. They will start projects just because they committed themselves or know that this must be done if they are to advance, knowing that the feeling part will just catch up with them.
The Doer is the best person to work with… they will always be there for you because they do not let feelings get in their way. They see what needs to be done and just start doing it. It is exciting to watch a Doer, for they will do things that they don't necessarily like doing, just to train themselves and then will find themselves liking what they do.
Doers have character, conviction and maturity… they don't let their emotions control them. They can easily set goals and follow dreams because they are committed to do them, and they will not let their feelings stop them.
If you find yourself leaning towards being a Feeler rather than being a Doer, don't give up the ship… the first step is making the decision to become a Doer… and then the next step is to put things into practice until it becomes just who you are. Through the years I have seen many who have made instant changes in their lives just by resolving to put action in their lives until it became a habit for them.
So this is where we are at and the opportunity is yours if you are up for it… let's start looking long term, find out what needs to be done and start doing it… you will love yourself for it and possibly me for telling you.